Relinquishing control = Gaining peace
We are continuing this week through the second half of chapter 2, questions 26-51. In meditating on the fact that God had a purpose in creating specific roles for men and women, it struck me again that there is great peace to be had in submitting to God as Creator and following through with His master plan with a joyful heart of obedience. We need to be continually challenged to treat others (including those of the opposite sex) as Christ would. He set the ultimate example. Satan would have us as women manipulate situations so that we gain control. Don’t we just love control? He would have us question the decisions or the judgment of the men that we come in contact with: our husbands, our deacons, our pastors, lay-men in our church or our co-workers. After all, we would know just the right thing to do, right?
“[W]hen God’s order of leadership is repudiated it brings damage and ruin. Men and women are both more vulnerable to error and sin when they forsake the order that God has intended.” (p.73)
“Boasting in either sex as superior to the other is folly. Being created equally in the image of God means at least this: that when the so-called weakness and strength columns for manhood and for womanhood are added up, the value at the bottom is going to be the same for each. And when you take those two columns and put them on top of each other, God intends them to be the perfect complement to each other.” (p.73)
God can use women in great ways in the ministry. He has given us gifts that we can use to further His service. However, the heart of the matter is this: Using those gifts in a way that is backed by the teachings of the Scripture and in the spirit of meekness and humility.
“Spiritual gifts are not only given by the Holy Spirit, they are also regulated by the Holy Scriptures” (p. 77).
We should not go out of our way to seek to have the authority. We should not seek to gain the upper-hand when it comes to men. Let the men have the roles they were created for. They were made to shoulder the heavy burdens of responsibility.
“Authority becomes a burden to bear, not a right to assert. It is a sacred duty to discharge for the good of others” (p.78).
Are we over concerned?
Why should we as Christians be so concerned about the increase in the fervor of the feminist movement? There is growing concern that the rise of feminism is also correlating with the rise in homosexual behavior. Many in the world are denying this, but it is something to ponder.
“We bring up homosexuality because we believe that the feminist minimization of sexual role differentiation contributes to the confusion of sexual identity that, especially in second and third generations, gives rise to more homosexuality in society (p.82).
“Especially crucial is a father’s firm and loving affirmation of a son’s masculinity or a daughter’s femininity. But we ask, how can this kind of affirmation be cultivated in an atmosphere where role differences between masculinity and femininity are constantly denied or minimized? (p.84)”
Can’t we all just get along?
“Come on,” you might say, “All this theological mumbo-jumbo is the stuff pastors, deep thinkers and theologians discuss. I am a housewife, or a children’s Sunday school teacher. Why does this matter to me? What is the big deal? All I need to know are just the key passages in Scripture, right? The rest is over my head!” Piper and Grudem’s answer to this is convicting:
“But we believe the emphasis should fall on the usefulness of all Scripture. ‘All Scripture is God-breathed and useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work’(2 Timothy 3:16). We do not want to discourage any serious lay person that the usefulness of Scripture is out of his or her reach.
“We would also encourage lay people to view controversies over important issues not only as evidence of our sin and ignorance but also as evidence that truth matters, that it is worth striving for, and that harmful error is not carrying the day unopposed.
“Lay people should therefore take heart that the battle for truth is being fought. They should realize that many of the plain things they virtually take for granted in their faith today were once hotly disputed and were preserved for them through controversy. (p.90)”
“In fact, the length and intensity of a controversy may be evidence of the importance of the issue, not of its unimportance.” (p.91)
As someone who loves a good read and a challenge, tackling this book has been good for me. I could easily categorize it as “deep thinking.” However, what about deep thinking during my personal Bible study? I admit this doesn’t come as easily to me. In the ministry, issues come up. When they do, am I ready? I have at my disposal, a pastor, who happens to be my husband. I have his mind as well as his vast library. There are also many great tools on the internet for personal study. But how often do I avail myself of them? I have been challenged in this last section to think through Scriptures and search them on my own that I may know their truths more intimately and take them as my own. We as women need to be more grounded in our beliefs so as not to be easily shaken by the winds of this world.
That picture is hilarious. It reminds me of Jim Berg’s picture of the two donkeys.
“Not getting my way.” I started struggling with that one when I was two (probably younger) and I still look for clever ways to get what I want. My 5th & 6th grade just finished up The Magician’s Nephew, and we have just read about the Witch stealing and eating from the forbidden apple tree. When Asland assures the children that the Witch will not come near the newly-planted tree, for she detests its fruit, they tell Aslan that she has already eaten from the tree.
“So we thought, Aslan,” she said, “that there must be some mistake, and she can’t really mind the smell of those apples.”
“Child,” he replied, “that is why all the rest are now a horror to her. That is what happens to those who pluck and eat fruits at the wrong time and in the wrong way. The fruit is good, but they loathe it ever after.”
Now Polly believes that since the Witch ate the fruit the wrong way, its magical properties will not work for her.
“Alas,” said Aslan, shaking his head. “It will. Things always work according to their nature. She has won her heart’s desire; she has unwearying strenth and endless days like a goddess. But length of days with an evil heart is only length of misery and already she begins to know it. All get what they want; they do not always like it.”
Digory wonders what would have happened if he had stolen an apple for his mother. Would it not have healed her? Aslan explains…
“Understand, then, that it would have healed her; but not to your joy or hers. The day would have come when both you and she would have looked back and said it would have been better to die in that illness.”
When we fight to get our own way, it usually works! And for awhile, we are happy for it. But in the long run, we don’t like it. Sometimes it takes a lot of faith to see that.
ON MY WAY vs. GOD’S WAY
Reading Dana’s comment reminded me of Psalm 81:10-16…”I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt: open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it. But my people would not hearken to my voice; and Israel would none of me. So I gave them up unto their own hearts’ lust: and they walked in their own counsels. Oh that my people had hearkened unto me, and Israel had walked in my ways! I should soon have subdued their enemies, and turned my hand against their adversaries. The haters of the LORD should have submitted themselves unto him: but their time should have endured forever. He should have fed them also with the finest of the wheat: and with honey out of the rock should I have satisfied thee.”
I remember very clearly the day the LORD used this passage in college to show me that pursuing my own way was very dangerous. God wants so much for us, and we settle for our own vision instead of His. Isn’t it sobering that we may be begging God for our way, a way we have devised for ourselves, and He might actually give it to us? Don’t settle for the generic brand of satisfaction when the Soverign God of the universe wants to give us the best.
My husband led a Bible study several Wednesday nights ago using this passage and he commented that we wonder why we are spiritually starved, when our lips are only cracked open. God commands us to open wide and He will fill our mouths with the finest wheat and honey…things that can truly satisfy our hearts.
We once belonged to a church where the pastor constantly challenged my husband to pray that God would not give him his own way. Our way will destroy us. May we all come to the place where we learn to submit to the will of the LORD of our lives and approach Him with wide open mouths and hands – taking what He gives as what we must truly need.
I agree. Many times in our finite minds we think of something that would be really great to have. A child? A husband? That new house? A promotion? We think, “If God gave that to me, He would really be good.”
I like this quote from Jerry Bridges in Trusting God Even When Life Hurts, “The unceasing activity of the Creator whereby, in overflowing bounty and goodwill, He upholds His creatures in ordered existence, guides and governs all events, circumstances, and free acts of angels and men, and directs everything to its appointed goal, for His own glory.”
What we don’t realize is that God is good regardless of what we think. We compartmentalize God’s goodness into health, wealth and getting what we think we need. Don’t we, in our prayers, ask for God to heal us of our sickness or get us out of our trial? Paul’s prayers generally were not for sickness to be lifted, but for lessons to be learned.
Sometimes, we tend to think that if WE were running the show, all would be good. After all, “if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself”, right? I fall prey to that so many times. But, sometimes, in delegation or in submission to someone else who is created for the job (a male) a burden is lifted that I would have had to carry.
My husband does not come home from deacon’s meetings or couseling sessions and share all that was discussed. It is not my burden to carry. What a peace there is then, when I look our congregation members in the eye and know nothing of what their struggles are, or what sin they are wrestling with. What relief there is in THEIR eyes when they share something with me and find out that I knew nothing at all. “You mean, your husband didn’t tell you?” “No. It wasn’t my business to know.”
Women tend to meditate more on problems. We get emotional about it. It is how we are made. What peace & joy can come when we relinquish our control and let the “pecking order” fall where God intended it to be to begin with.