Staying Put

Last night I talked to an friend who is spending her last days (diagnosed with terminal cancer) with her family in Alaska. As a former missionary, her life has been filled with hardships. When she moved to Alaska a couple of years ago to teach 8 grandchildren and 15 adopted children, she admits that it was harder than she expected, and she was warned not to go, but she went anyway and never thought about coming back.

While in the military, we moved around a lot, and I wondered if we’d ever settle down and actually get to paint our own walls. When we left the military and moved to Tennessee, we bought a home (instead of renting) because we planned to stay for a very long time. When an opportunity came to go somewhere else, we had a big decision to make, not just for that decision, but for the years to come. Would we ever leave, and if so, why? After lots of soul-searching, we decided, that unless the call to go was unmistakably clear, we would stay —forever. We could leave tomorrow, of course, to another town or another country, but unless Providence intervenes, we’re staying put.

God moves his servants around periodically, but it seems that in our time, we are much too eager to move from one thing to another when circumstances no longer suit us. Whether it’s a spouse, a job, a home, or a church, our commitment level is pretty low, especially when compared to some fine folks of the past. Last night I gave a children’s Bible lesson on Adoniram Judson. When no one was converted after six years, he stayed. When his children died, he stayed. After prison for 17 months, he stayed. After his wife and remaining child died, he thought about going home, but he still stayed. He got married again, to another missionary whose husband had died (she had stayed, too). Together, they saw thousands converted by the gospel, and they saw the Baptist faith firmly planted in Burma.

You might have very good (reasonable) reasons for leaving, but when you give up too soon, you might be leaving just before God was really going to do something. We’re so short-sighted, we think nothing’s going to change, but that is the opposite of faith. In my short ministry experience, I’ve seen godly people submit to situations I know they didn’t like and I’ve seen God specifically bless them for it. I’ve also seen people die on the sword for petty things that were on their way to being worked out, even if they didn’t know it.

It’s OK to move around, but something might be wrong when, at the end of our lives, we average 24 jobs, 17 homes, 9 churches, and 3 spouses. I grew up in a church where almost everyone lived and died there — I had no idea that that was unusual. Mark Dever, pastor of Capitol Hill Baptist Church, says that young people are practically enslaved to having choices. They don’t want to make any commitment that limits their choices — whether that be to move, get another job, or go out of town on the weekends.

I believe that making a lifelong commitment gives me the freedom to truly love something and the fortitude to endure when times are tough. Sally Michael (she and her husband head up the children’s ministries Bethlehem Baptist) says that she was unhappy with the children’s ministries at her church, so she prayed about it for 15 years. Most parents would have left a long time ago! I think God blesses that kind of commitment.

Just as in marriage, if you think you can cut and run, you probably will at some time or another. When you decide that leaving is not an option, it changes your whole paradigm for thinking about difficult situations and forces you to be God-dependent. When you go into a situation with a lets-give-it-a-try attitude, you’re obviously going to be disappointed at some point, but when you go into a situation with a I’m-never-giving-up and God-is-going-to-win-the-day-here attitude, things get really exciting!

Sometimes, moving or changing is the smart and right thing to do, but it does seem that the tone of Scripture and the lives of great men and women of faith testify that longterm, enduring commitment is the norm for the Christian life. When in doubt, stay.