Raising Children God’s Way

There are many books out there about how to raise godly children, but this one is probably the most practical that I’ve come across. It is called “Don’t Make Me Count to Three!” A Mom’s Look at Heart-Oriented Discipline by Ginger Plowman.

Reading this book has helped me to recognize the many instances that I resort to my own instincts of non-Biblical, worldly logic when addressing my child’s behavior. This book has helped me to replace those second-nature responses with something better: applicable wisdom that’s already been given to us from above in God’s Word. What is so great about this book is that there are many practical examples and stories with both negative and positive scenarios to reflect upon.

For example, she writes,

A mother waits in line at the main counter in the public library with her two preschool-age children. The children begin to argue and push one another until Mom says, “Stop it right now! You know that is not how you are supposed to act!” As the librarian stamps the small stack of books, Mom begins to explain, “I’m sorry for the disturbance; they haven’t had their nap yet.” On the way out Mom tells the children how disappointed she is in their behavior.

Plowman points out that the mother has used a worldly method. She teaches her children that it is ok to act out when tired and then in a contradicting way lets them know she is disappointed in them which “causes the children to ponder their mom’s disapproval rather than a positive character quality.” This doesn’t line up with the Scriptural teaching that we should think upon that which is lovely and of good report. (Phil. 4:8 ) Furthermore, the children in this example are not learning to care mostly what God thinks and what pleases God (Gal. 1:10). Instead the mom should focus the childrens attention on the poor choice the children made and teach them why their action wrong and displeasing to God rather than putting the focus on her personal feelings about what they did and excusing it in front of them to the librarian.

When training is done properly, it should always end on a positive note. A child who directly disobeys mom in the grocery store should not be yelled at or have to ride home with an angry mom. This sort of discipline does not show unconditional love and careful instruction. It sends the negative message, “I am not pleased with you” for the child to ponder. Our desire should be fore the child to ponder what he could have done right rather than what he did wrong.

The author states,

We live in an age that defies God and His Word at every point, including child training. But the Bible says, “There is a way that seems right to man, but in the end it leads to death.” (Prov. 14:1) We shouldn’t be surprised that worldy methods and false philosophies are taught by secular “experts.” However, we must learn to discern the difference between the wisdom of the world and the wisdom of God. I Corinthians 3:18 says, “The wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight.

The overall message of this book is that having a Biblical model for raising children really works. A must-read for every parent!