My son’s Bernstein Bears Christmas movie teaches that Christmas is about thinking of others. Reading the newspaper ads makes me think it is about buying gifts for loved ones. I’ve put off my shopping as long as possible, but as I get ready to do my share of consumerism, I am reminded by a friend that we need to have a Christmas attitude toward others even while we shop for gifts for others. 

My friend has seen enough people with me-first attitudes in store lines who could care less about the person in front of them. In fact, she shared that last week she nearly got mowed over by a lady with her shopping cart who must have had on invisible blinders. Personally, I dislike standing in line at stores especially with two children in tow, but let’s remember that God cared enough for us to give the gift of eternal life. We can at least care enough for the person in front of us to say “hi” or smile or show a caring attitude. That’s my personal challenge this week anyway.

“What Child Is This?” is a question that Mary pondered in her heart, and one that we all must come to terms with at one time or another in this life or the next. This week my 5-year old son said to me while watching his seven-month old sister Naomi laying on the floor, “It is strange to me that God came to earth as a baby. That is like Naomi growing up to be a soldier.” For a 5-year old that was the best analogy he could come up with to describe how unlikely God coming as a baby seemed. Later I was reminded of what Paul said in I Cor. 2:8-9: “None of the rulers of this age understood it, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. For as it is written, No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for them who love him.” That last part is a text from Isaiah 64:4. Paul continues by saying that God’s ways and wisdom are much higher than ours. I got to explain to my son how God desires a relationship with us so much that he was willing to share in our weakness, come as a little baby, and grow up in order to relate to us in a personal way. I cannot think of better news than that! Is this news worth telling about?  The apostles thought so, for they were willing to be imprisoned, beaten, and even die for it.

It reminds me of another song, Go Tell it on the Mountain. This song should sound exciting! It also needs to seem repetitive because that is just the point. My son was also learning this week about the different ways people communicate in different parts of the world and through different eras of history. In America it used to be the town crier, and later, news traveled via the pony express. My sister-in-law, currently a missionary to Papua New Guinea, told me that in the highlands the main form of communication today is still to shout news from hilltop to hilltop. This message reaches everyone by being repeated over and over from one mountain to the next until everyone hears the news. We read in the book of Acts how the apostles spread the good news in the first century church, but is that message getting around to everyone today? Who can you tell the good news to this season?  As we ponder what child this is may we share the answers with those around us this Christmas and throughout the New Year.

To continue with Joseph’s life, he gets out of prison and is again the messenger of God to interpret a dream. Not just for anyone, but for Pharoah! I think it must have taken so much humility to not be vindictive or set the record straight about Potiphar’s wife’s lie as soon as he had a chance! Personally, I can hardly stand it if I hear a rumor about me that is false. It is as if my whole persona is crashing right in front me and I have to defend myself and make things right or else I cannot continue on with my happy life. It’s even harder for me to not have a grudge against the person that tried to wreck my reputation! Then, I think about the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus!

Just think about the weight of accusation Jesus must have felt going to the cross. Jesus was taking on not just the penalty of one person’s false accusation against him! Jesus, God in human flesh, was taking on all the weight of sin this world has ever known from the beginning of time to the end of time. Jesus wasn’t doing this for friends, but rather enemies of God. Yet, Matthew 26:50 records Jesus calling Judas “Friend” when Judas came to betray Jesus. God loved us while we were yet sinners! We deserved a death-sentence, not rescuing, but God loved us while we were on the enemy’s side (Romans 5:8)!

Our representation of Joseph as a Jesus-type breaks down, as all do, at some point. Joseph was just a man, but he was willing to humbly serve where God had him whether it was in a prison or in the Pharoah’s palace. We don’t read about Joseph trying to set the score straight. Instead, we see humility and love towards those who have done him wrong. Spurgeon writes,

God’s love to us can add nothing to Him; it gives, but receives not. Divine love can have no recompense. That He, the Infinite, should stoop to love the finite; that He the infinite pure, should love the guilty, that is a vast condescension. See, moreover, what it involved; for this love rendered it necessary that in the person of His dear Son God should be “despised and rejected of men,” should make Himself of no reputation, and should even be numbered with the transgressors. “Herein is love!” (10).

John 4:19 states that, “We love him, because he first loved us.” This Easter, may we find ourselves humbled before the presence of God because he first loved us, paid the death-sentence on our behalf, the price of our iniquity to reconcile us to a holy, just, merciful God. It is truly amazing that because of our acceptance of that free gift of Salvation made possible by Jesus’ sacrifice, God calls us His friend! What a friend we have in Jesus! Below is the first verse of the words to this hymn whose text was written by Joseph Scriven. The tragic events which led him to pen these words can be read about here.

What a friend we have in Jesus,
all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
all because we do not carry
everything to God in prayer.

The Bible story of Joseph’s life is a highlight of the Old Testament. It tells the story of an ordinary man who responds with such grace, patience and humility despite so much evil that was done to him. Here is a young person who believes God has something really big and special for him. Then, he gets dumped into a well to die, sold into slavery, falsely lied about, and thrown into prison for who knows how long. His life at this point appears like such a waste! So much for having an important calling in life, right? Sometimes we may feel the same way, but God is still writing the story of our lives and the story is not finished!

Joseph doesn’t sit and wallow in self-pity like I might have. He finds a purpose where he is placed. In jail, he proves himself worthy to be made in charge of all the other prisoners. He even seeks God on behalf of perplexed prisoners with dreams. The first dream interpreted is really good news. Within three days this prisoner will be released and given his job back in the palace. I can just imagine the next prisoner going, “Hey, I had a dream too. Will you interpret it for me too?” He was probably wishing for good news, but his dream was a soon-to-come death sentence. I can just see Joseph finishing that interpretation and looking around the room saying, “Anyone else want their dream interpreted?” I guess no one bothered him for a while after that!

Joseph probably thought this first prisoner’s freedom was his ticket out of jail too, but wrong again! The guy completely forgot about him. Do you ever do something for someone and then, expecting to be remembered when you need help, feel abandoned? That’s not fair! In fact, a life of such experiences could make someone justifiably cynical towards people in general, but not Joseph. He never uses his past to excuse his attitude for the present, and neither should I! So what if I was treated unfairly in my past! Joseph’s story teaches me that is no reason to be hindered in the now.

So, the king has a dream and this time Joseph is remembered. Why did God wait so long to rescue Joseph? Sometimes I wonder that about myself too: if God can fix this situation right now, why doesn’t He do it now? I have to remember that God is the author of time and sees a bigger picture. Our lives are a part of a bigger plan, and God knows what he is doing. ”You mean I have to just wait around and just trust God in this time?” Sometimes, the answer is a resounding, “Yes!”

Joseph has developed some real character by now! He’s learned a lot of patience and trust in God during his whole life, most of which has been a series of bad events. He probably at least once asked God, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” It is easy to see the end of the story of Joseph and say, “God works all things together for good.” But, can we have the faith to trust that God will do that with my life too?

Lord make me a channel of thy peace–
That where there is hatred, I may bring love;
That where there is wrong, I may bring forgiveness;
That where there is discord, I may bring harmony;
that where there is error, I may bring truth;
That where there is doubt, I may bring faith;
That where there is despair, I may bring hope;
That where there are shadows, I may bring Thy light;
That where there is sadness, I may bring joy.

Lord grant that I may seek rather to comfort, than to be comforted;
To understand, than to be understood;
To love, than to be loved; For it is by giving–that one receives;
It is by self-forgetting–that one finds;
It is by forgiving–that one is forgiven;
It is by dying–that one awakends to eternal life.

-Francis (1182-1226)

Have you ever run out of patience with your child? You love them dearly, but your child has just pushed you over the edge, and now you feel completely out of resources for dealing with their misbehavior. Maybe you think, ”if only I had a little more patience I could see life through my child’s eyes and understand better what to do.” Unfortunately though, having all the patience in the world will not help your children obey you better.

Patience of a teacher doesn’t necessary make a good parent either. For instance, with my ten years of teaching experience and a Master of Education degree, I’ve learned how to have tolerance in the classroom setting where nothing ruffles me or causes me to raise my voice. I’ve learned how to redirect children, defuse potential conflicts, and calm down situations where children are acting out, but when I had my own child I implemented those same tactics for three years of his life only to discover that I wasn’t really teaching him how to obey me. I was simply corralling him like I did all the children in my classroom. In fact, I had good reason to worry that if my son was in immediate danger and I gave him a command that he probably would not obey the first time because that was not his habit. He might choose to obey the second, or third time, or he might say, “why?” and delay his obedience for a few minutes until I had sufficiently convinced him to do what I asked. Worse, he might ignore me altogether and see what I would do. I knew my parenting tactics needed to change if I was going to teach him to obey. I knew that just having more patience wasn’t the answer to teaching him to obey my instructions.

What does parenting with patience mean, anyway? Is it being tolerant of wrongdoing? Is it saying to Jimmy, “please clean up your room like I asked” five times over in a sweet voice over the span of 15 minutes hoping that Jimmy will eventually obey? Is patience delaying or minimizing punishment for bad behavior? Is patience not being bothered when your child does the opposite of what you say? Most would agree that these kinds of circumstances try our patience, but what is the mark of a good parent as it relates to patience? In order to answer that question I believe there is a more fundamental issue that needs to be addressed first.

If parents had more of a concern for responding correctly to situations and less concern for being patient, I believe they would also find their patience less tried and less spent. In Ginger Plowman’s book, “Don’t Make Me Count to Three” she encourages parents to teach their children what it means to obey. She writes, “Teach them that God wants them to obey “all the way, right away, and with a happy heart.” She says, “As soon as my children could talk, I would ask them, “How does God want you to obey?” and they would respond, “all the way, right away, and with a happy heart” (117).

With that definition in mind, parenting with patience should not be to the detriment of teaching children how to obey the way God instructs them in His Word. Rather, being a patient parent means being willing to sacrifice personal time and convenience to deal with their misbehavior from a godly perspective. In other words, patience means giving up what we want to do in order to train our children to do what is right and to help them choose what pleases God. I believe the key to being a patient parent is three-fold. It means first of all renewing our minds with the things of God (Duet. 11:18). Secondly, it means learning to respond to every situation with God’s wisdom (Prov. 2), and thirdly, it means taking the time to identify the underlying sin in our child’s heart and address it.

If we are not renewing our mind with the things of God how can we possibly have one of the fruits of the Spirit, patience, in our lives (Gal. 5:22)? We need God’s help. How can we be patient in our parenting if we are not patient in other ways as well such as waiting in line at the grocery store, waiting on the freeway in stop-and-go traffic, and waiting for our children to follow through with tasks that take them longer than it does us because they are still learning. If I’m already feeling uptight that day, chances are I will react out of personal inconvenience rather than responding correctly. Thus, recognizing those times in our lives where we lack patience is important. These are times when we need to take our human limitations to God in prayer and ask for patience. God promises in his Word that he will not give us more than we can handle and that we can take all of our burdens to the Lord in prayer (I Cor. 10:13, Matt. 11: 28-30).

Secondly, responding in Godly wisdom is impossible if we are not filling our mind and heart with God’s teaching! If my child has displayed a behavior that needs correcting then I need to pray for wisdom so that I can teach and discipline my child with the goal of helping them to please God. This means helping them to articulate and/or demonstrate the correct response to the situation being dealt with. This gives them affirmation that they can do the right thing. It is important to recognize also that without God’s help we cannot even begin to please God. Thus, praying with your child is a great way to empower them to daily choose what is right and to please God rather than self in the little things and big things (Rom. 8:8, Heb. 11:6).

One question that has helped me in the area of patient parenting is, “Am I reacting or responding to this situation?” For example, when milk gets spilled at the dinner table, is there an immediate reaction to upsetly say, ”I can’t believe you spilled your milk again!” That is a reaction that demonstrates impatience. On the other hand, if the child is goofing off at the table instead of eating, has been told to stop waving his fork, but continues to buzz it around in the air wildly like an airplane and spills the milk, this is not the time to quietly clean up the spill and ignore discipline. Instead, a parent could peacefully respond with something like:

Parent: “What did I tell you to do?” 
Child “Not to goof off at the table”
Parent: “What did you do instead of obeying?”
Child: “I kept swinging my fork around.”
Parent: “Yes, and because you disobeyed me, you will not get dessert tonight.”

The spilled milk is not the real issue. The real issue is the child’s disobedience. Doing all of this with a calm, peaceful spirit is demonstrating patience all the while teaching the child that obeying his or her parents is very important. 

If our children do not learn how to obey our instructions, how can they learn to follow God’s instructions? Jeremiah 17:23 is a sad account of God’s people not obeying and listening, but turning their back on Him. In Jer. 32:33, God longs to restore them to Himself. There were consequences for the people’s disobedience, but the purpose of the consequences was to bring about repentance and restoration in the hearts of God’s people. Our reason for giving consequences to our children are for the same reason (Duet. 8:5).

Lastly, the key to being a patient parent is learning to recognize our child’s underlying sin issue and addressing their heart. In a busy world where we have so little time to train our children in the way they should go it is crucial to be attentive to those teaching moments. Teaching moments can come out of good situations when we recognize, honor and praise our child for the correct choices they have made. Teaching moments also can come out of negative circumstances when our child disobeys and needs correction and instruction in righteousness. Having the scriptures in our hearts, and relying on God’s wisdom is prerequisite for this third aspect of being a patient parent, addressing their heart issues (2 Tim. 3:16).

In summary, patience is not tolerating bad behavior, but responding in a loving, correcting way to our children when they disobey or test us. God is our model and He disciplines those He loves (Heb. 12: 6-7). As parents, we are called to discipline (correct, and instruct in righteousness) our children to so that they can grow up to live in a way that pleases and honors God.  That is our job as a parent, and yes, it takes lots of patience!

Love

In peace, love tunes the shepherds reed;
In war, he mounts the warior’s steed;
In halls, in gay attire I’d seen;
In hamlets, dances ok the green.
Love rules the courts, the camp, the grove,
And men below and saints above;
For love is heaven, and heaven is love.
Sir Walter Scott (1771-1832)

If love for your family is calling you to do something special on a budget, here’s an idea passed on to me by a friend:

Decorate or wrap a kleenex box or any medium size box that has an opening on top for small gifts. Buy or make small gifts (ie: dollar store, or a sweet treat, or a craft) and tie or tape a pretty ribbon around it and leave the ribbon edge as a streamer hanging so that when gift is placed in box, ribbon hangs out and lays in front of person’s place setting at the dinner table. Top box with tissue paper to conceal surprise gifts for guests and family to pull on and discover after dinner. This makes an attractive centerpiece for the dinner table!

There are many books out there about how to raise godly children, but this one is probably the most practical that I’ve come across. It is called “Don’t Make Me Count to Three!” A Mom’s Look at Heart-Oriented Discipline by Ginger Plowman.

Reading this book has helped me to recognize the many instances that I resort to my own instincts of non-Biblical, worldly logic when addressing my child’s behavior. This book has helped me to replace those second-nature responses with something better: applicable wisdom that’s already been given to us from above in God’s Word. What is so great about this book is that there are many practical examples and stories with both negative and positive scenarios to reflect upon.

For example, she writes,

A mother waits in line at the main counter in the public library with her two preschool-age children. The children begin to argue and push one another until Mom says, “Stop it right now! You know that is not how you are supposed to act!” As the librarian stamps the small stack of books, Mom begins to explain, “I’m sorry for the disturbance; they haven’t had their nap yet.” On the way out Mom tells the children how disappointed she is in their behavior.

Plowman points out that the mother has used a worldly method. She teaches her children that it is ok to act out when tired and then in a contradicting way lets them know she is disappointed in them which “causes the children to ponder their mom’s disapproval rather than a positive character quality.” This doesn’t line up with the Scriptural teaching that we should think upon that which is lovely and of good report. (Phil. 4:8 ) Furthermore, the children in this example are not learning to care mostly what God thinks and what pleases God (Gal. 1:10). Instead the mom should focus the childrens attention on the poor choice the children made and teach them why their action wrong and displeasing to God rather than putting the focus on her personal feelings about what they did and excusing it in front of them to the librarian.

When training is done properly, it should always end on a positive note. A child who directly disobeys mom in the grocery store should not be yelled at or have to ride home with an angry mom. This sort of discipline does not show unconditional love and careful instruction. It sends the negative message, “I am not pleased with you” for the child to ponder. Our desire should be fore the child to ponder what he could have done right rather than what he did wrong.

The author states,

We live in an age that defies God and His Word at every point, including child training. But the Bible says, “There is a way that seems right to man, but in the end it leads to death.” (Prov. 14:1) We shouldn’t be surprised that worldy methods and false philosophies are taught by secular “experts.” However, we must learn to discern the difference between the wisdom of the world and the wisdom of God. I Corinthians 3:18 says, “The wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight.

The overall message of this book is that having a Biblical model for raising children really works. A must-read for every parent!

This evening we spent over 30 minutes with two people who knocked on our door, identified themselves as Christians and asked if they could do a survey. It was cold outside so my husband invited them in to talk.

What happened? To make a long story short, after they sat down they started talking about our heavenly mother, and eventually declared that they believe Jews cannot be saved (i.e. they have no hope of heaven). It made Daniel’s and my blood boil. We just could not believe what we were hearing!  A whole host of verses flooded my mind to proved them wrong, but they were not willing to listen. Their minds were made up and they were racists. They believed this lie. Since they proved themselves to be a cult they were no longer welcome in our home and Daniel and I simultaneously jumped up from the couch to show them the door.

Even after they left, my husband and I were bewildered that people could rationalize such a false, irrational interpretation of Scripture! So beware of those who want to talk to you about God our Spiritual Mother. They don’t believe in a real believing Jewish remnant as recorded in Revelations and they don’t believe that all who call upon the Lord for salvation shall be saved!

A few days ago I was sitting on a park bench watching my son play for an hour on the playground. He was so happy to get the exercise, but I didn’t bring anything to do and there was no one to talk to around.

I thought how nice it would be to go through life without thinking negative thoughts and decided that for that hour I would only think about positive, worthwhile things. Inevitably, after a while I found myself not thinking about anything at all, but just staring and zoning out.

Only later did it dawn on me how scripture memory provides us with material to think about that is worthy. It provides us with thoughts of who God is and our relationship to God. If I want to make 2009 a happier year for me, I believe it begins with filling my mind with positive thoughts. Not just random, meaningless thoughts, but worthwhile ones that draw me closer to my Lord and Savior.

Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight.

Psalm 119:35

My mother-in-law has a theory that everyone has something that makes them a little eccentric or unbalanced in one way or another. Later, I jokingly asked my husband what that thing was for me, but I asked late enough at night that he was too tired to think and said he didn’t know. What a relief!

As I look for ways to be a a more balanced individual in year 2009, my first thought is to exercise (that’s a nice thought, isn’t it?) It’s also true that my time could be better scheduled in the mornings and then I might have more time for all those things I didn’t get around to doing in 2008. However, those things don’ t bother me as much as this one:  I realize that I didn’t give to charities or give my time to anyone besides my family, friends, and  church this year. There was always an excuse. I didn’t know which charities were legit or which would best serve Christ in the community or the world at large. I didn’t have time to join a cause that would make a difference in other people’s lives, especially if it meant getting out of my comfort zone. My family also didn’t have as many financial resources as we did the year before, but deep down I know those are still just excuses.

Christmas is a time for giving, but in general people’s giving tends to stop at  those who give back friendship and love, and to those whom we best relate to. Yet Jesus, the one we Christians celebrate at Christmastime, gave his whole life to people around him regardless of whether they were loving people, or members of His family, or of the same social connections.

How have I become so narrow in my concept of what it means to be a follower of Christ, that I can go from year to year without doing the same as Jesus did for others? I am praying for a meaningful New Year, and I realize it starts with giving. Not just my time and resources to family and friends, although that is important, but to extend a part of God’s blessings and resources to those who I don’ t know, but care about (or should care about) because Jesus cares for them. When I read the New Testament I get the impression that the fatherless, the widowed, the homeless, and orphans are especially close to the heart of Jesus.

Exactly how do I reach out today to these people in need? I’m talking not just about people with monetary needs, but spiritual needs. (My new neighbors come to mind, but again I ask, how do I reach out? They don’t exactly come across as friendly, considerate people so it is easy to wish they weren’t there and just ignore them and not care, but that is not Jesus’ way. I know I can start with prayer for them.

My prayer and goal for having a more balanced, meaningful New Year in 2009 is that I would follow Christ more practically in ways that would cause me to reach out and give my time and resources to people beyond my church friends, family, and business connections. That is what would make a Meaningful New Year for me.

To Make This Life Worthwhile” by George Eliot

“May every soul that touches mine-
Be it the slightest contact,
Get therefrom some good,
Some little grace; one kindly thought;
One aspiration yet unfelt;
One bit of courage
For the darkening sky;
One gleam of faith
To brave the thickening ills of life;
One glimpse of brighter skies
Beyond the gathering mists-
To make this life worthwhile.”

Beautiful Christmas melodies of old are arranged by Jamie Mulfinger and Mary Mulfinger Orozco (also heard on Eine Kleine Kaffeemusik III) in a fresh way that will warm your hearts this Christmas season. The majestic and gentle sounds of the flute are weaved together with the soothing, and energizing sounds of accoustic piano and the glorious depth and mystery of the cello, played by Sharon Mulfinger Gerber.

My blog posts have been few and far between since this summer’s recording sessions of a new Christmas CD, but I am excited to announce now that this relaxing, enjoyable music is just in time for Christmas and is available for purchase at www.bayflutist.com For a limited time, there are free shipping on all orders. We hope that you will enjoy! Merry Christmas!

Whereas it is the duty of all Nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to implore his protection and favor, and Whereas both Houses of Congress have by their Joint Committee requested me “to recommend to the People of the United States a day of public thanks-giving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness.

Now therefore I do recommend and assign Thursday the 26th day of November next to be devoted by the People of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being, who is the beneficent Author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be. That we may then all unite in rendering unto him our sincere and humble thanks, for his kind care and protection of the People of this country previous to their becoming a Nation, for the signal and manifold mercies, and the favorable interpositions of his providence, which we experienced in the course and conclusion of the late war, for the greatest degree of tranquility, union, and plenty, which we have since enjoyed, for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enabled to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national One now lately instituted, for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge and in general for all the great and various favors which he hath been pleased to confer upon us.

And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech him to pardon our national and other transgressions, to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually, to render our national government a blessing to all the People, by constantly being a government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed, to protect and guide all Sovereigns and Nations (especially such as have shown kindness unto us) and to bless them with good government, peace, and concord. To promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and Us, and generally to grant unto all Mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as he alone knows to be best.

Michael Stovall, in his article “It’s Almost Over”, writes,

I am burdened for our country because we have gone what may be too far down the road and gone past the point of no return in morality.  I am burdened by the church’s timidity to get involved because someone starts crying separation of church and state.  If I can leave my faith at the door or outside the voting booth, then it’s not real.  I am burdened when people claiming to be Christian have no problem putting their support behind campaigns that obviously have no concern for honoring God, Christ, or the Bible.  We are too willing to put our trust in a politician or the government.  The economics of it are political.  And politicians are a dime a dozen.  The morality of it should be the point of decision.

Read the full article here.

Philippians 4:8
“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

Watch your thoughts; they become words.

Watch your words; they become actions.

Watch your actions; they become character.

Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

                                                      – Frank Outlaw